The festive season is nearing. For many simply the best time of the year. Also a time for get-togethers with friends and family, and a time of contemplation.
For couples experiencing problems conceiving, Christmas is often a time dominated by ambivalent feelings. This is mainly due to the fact that for them, there is only one big wish to be found on their wish list: To be able to watch the shining eyes of their own child under the Christmas tree.
Therefore, for many couples dealing with fertility issues, the holiday season can become one of the most difficult times. Remembering the feeling of hope on last Christmas day, being all too aware that this year again there is no baby in your arm, meeting family and friends who do not even suspect what you are going through…
It gets particularly hard when there are small children around and domestic happiness is so close.
Feelings of sadness and helplessness are often pronounced during this time of the year, which is normal and understandable.
Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a sure formula to deal with this, but it can be helpful to remember that you are not alone. Some others in the same situation have shared a few tips and experiences online – maybe some of them are helpful for you, too:
If you find it difficult to spend time with small children:
– attend a late Christmas Eve church service rather than the family service on Christmas Day
– decide not to shop at large shopping centers where families, children, and Santa’s abound
– if you find family Christmas gatherings too painful, plan to see your parents or other family members a week or two beforehand so they know you care about them. This will leave you free to spend the day quietly
More general tips include:
– be ready to respond to questions from friends about when you plan to have children. Think through the situation and plan your response
– allow yourself to feel sad or depressed. Perhaps you can accept the hurt you experience as evidence of your love for your unborn child
– express your appreciation to your friends and family who have supported you through the year
– plan to develop your own traditions and rituals to celebrate special occasions
Maybe you can think of another bit of advice that you would like to share? We are looking forward to your input!
In spite of it all: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!